Onarga: my stomach hurts, does your stomach hurt?
Carly: not at all
I have been eating cookies for breakfast
It’s a very un-Durst thing to be doing
Onarga: Durst?
Fred?
Carly: duh
Onarga: if that’s the only Un-Durst thing you’re doing today then I would say you’re having more than an off day
Carly: well, I am sure there are more
But my definition of Durst consists solely of the fact that he is a guy who wants people to stick cookies in their HUH!
Onarga: I don’t’ think it’s that he wants YOU to stick anything in you "huh!" unless you’re asking him to accept cookies over nookie
Is that the case?
Carly: I told you, my understanding of Durst is very basic
Onarga: As is your misunderstanding of Durst
Carly: it’s a direct result
No shit
Onarga: he’s only got that one rule: don’t ask him to substitute his Nookie for anything, least of all cookies, lest said confectionary delight be inserted painfully into your own rectum
Oh, "Huh!” depending on how you interpret the latter
Carly: as a subset of that rule, I think we can also safely say that Durst’s only motivation (for anything) is nookie
If you want him to watch your dog, you’ll be paying him in nookie, or you’ll be looking elsewhere for a sitter
Onarga: Question:
Onarga: Suppose Mr. Durst visits his mother on his birthday, his mother has made him some cookies in celebration of the event, did she get him to come over on the promise of nookie? And will she have to up the "Nookie ante" to get him anywhere near these hypothetical cookies?
Carly: easy
His mother serves him the cookie on a stripper’s va-j
I mean, this is Fred Durst’s Mom we’re talking about, right?
Onarga: Are we then to assume that this lack of motivation in the face of anything NOT nookie can, in someway, be attributed to the way Mother Durst raised young Fred?
Carly: not on its own
Unless, that is, Durst was raised in a vacuum
Onarga: A listen to his music gives the impression that he was
Let’s suppose he wasn’t though, for the sake or argument
Onarga: At what point did "nookie" become the great motivator? One which, clearly, given the Vaj-ookie, is one his mother supports, or rather, enables, even if she herself doesn’t endorse it
Carly: or, has she come to embrace this characteristic, formed entirely separate from any influence of her own?
As a way to bridge the divide, created by Fred’s angst over "the way things are in the world today"?
Onarga: So, then, the Vaj-ookie came very late in her parenting failure of Fred then, and she simply took to using it as a means of spending more time with her son
Interesting
Do you suppose royalties on his "Bizkit" records come in the form of "Nookie"?
And how do you split that up, points-wise, on the publishing?
Carly: doesn’t matter, as long as Fred gets as much nookie as he thinks its worth
Whatever is left, the band splits
Onarga: huh
This is interesting
Perhaps we should write a paper on this "Mr. D"
That song is like Mr. D’s own personal "what would you do for a Klondike bar" theme song
Carly: sears
His answer?
fuckin’ NOTHING!
Onarga: you know what this needs to be?
A mutherfuckin’ BLOG, yo!
Carly: sears
Blog 
