The Johns Offical Website

And wow, I feel so sick right now. It was really disgusting.

Loves:

1. The new Phantom Planet record “Raise the Dead”. Where the fuck are you, PP fans of Chicago? How do you not love this fucking band?
2. Zooey Deschanel & M. Ward’s She & Him project.  Easily the greatest Sunday morning record of the year.
3. Used books and those special angels that sell them to me. I mean, shit, a copy of Tom Wolfe’s “Bonfire Of The Vanities” in hardcover for a quarter? Sweet serenity.
4. Veronice Mars on dvd. I just can’t stop watching them.
5. The Carl Sandburg High School tee I’m currently rockin’. I had no school spirit then and even less now, but it fits really good, Expect to see more of it, peeps.

Hates:

1. Lapses in time. Dear Thursday night: where the fuck did you go and what the fuck did you do with me?
2. Gasoline, oil changes and general vehicular upkeep.
3. The Lifetime Network and my mother’s attempts to get me to watch it.
4. Realizing once again that I will never get to meet Kurt Vonnegut after finding Slaughterhouse 5 in a thrift store selling for ten cents. Did I buy it? Of course, but I did so with a lump in my throat.
5. This is one will be left open to everything regarding the unending battle for the Democratic Nomination. The suspense is killing me and doing nothing to foster hope for the next four years.

420 stats:

$120: amount of money Jonny put in my hands friday night.

$0: smount of money left in my pocket come monday morning.

1: number of books purchased, pre-show.

2: number of pizzas ordered.

5: number of pre-show beers.

0: total number of soundchecks performed by The Johns.

1: total songs featuring harmonica.

1: number of times a band member was recognized in public, pre-show.

Jiller: person who put me under the table.

3: total hours it took for me to calm down enough to play the show due to pre-show impliments and supplements.

Thank you.

Onarga.

 3/31/08 we released our most recent and first full length album “Foresight/Poorsight”.

You know one of those nights where you’ve consumed so much vodka that you can’t read the chord chart for the cover you never really rehearsed, and you really wish you could find your glasses only to realize that you can’t find them because they’re already on your face, making your inability to read the chart even more embarrasing?

Well, that was The Store show for me, for the most part.

My apologies. But shit, I have no idea we were going to play for 2 hours. What are we, the E Street Band?

No. We’re not. But they should pry watch their backs given how quickly those 2 hours went by.

Anyway, thanks for coming, those who came, and while we may have threatened you and your band a little, just know we love you Boss.

Sincerely,

Onarga.

i set myself up with the last show report… i was slated to do the featured spot at this weird/cool little spot on the gold coast. For some reason i decided to play a different guitar than i usually do… forgetting about it’s tenuous tuning abilities. And to boot i brought my usual amp for solo gigs, which, since i’ve never played that guit with that amp… turned out to sound funny, muddy, crappy. Whatever, that’s no excuse, right?

So i get there in a relatively jovial mood, a little tired, always tired… so i sit down have a guiness, hang out just trying to watch the open mikers before my set. Definitely some good talent in there. Some good ole boys, some business dudes frmo out of town come in and sit right next to me. We start talking and making jokes blah blah blah… the dude buys me another guiness and another… mind you, i haven’t had a beer in a week…. so i’ve got a nice buzz.

the players play… then it’s my turn. By this time, the GOB’s are drunkenly under the understanding that i’m going to blow their faces off and they’re gonna love it.

not so much.

I would have had to have played John Mayer or the like to really get their attention. Instead i start with Roxanne… wait.. my guitar isn’t tuning right… (awkward pausing while they yell "c’mon, rock us!"), here it is! it’s in tune… but somehow growly and muddy… oh fuck, the amp and the guit, i’ve never played them together… it’s not working well. I’m self concious about it.

I launch into this classic tune without respect to it… i butcher it (from my standpoint)… to regaling applause…

what next? dunno.

i try an original. "worn" oh boy more tuning… this one has a crazy a string up to b tuning… that takes 5 minutes.

i’ve lost them.

the rest is what you would expect. they leave. the others leave. there’s the regulars at the bar and a couple of loyal folks… including the manager and his manager duo (who are gracious and helpful as all get out).

and the host, who claps and helps out with morale. I’m aware though. I’m drunk, my sinuses are nuts, my guitar sounds crappy and i’ve lost the vibe.

so goes it.

Hi-tea, hopefully holds better things.

the storm was threatening all day, looming… chicago was just waiting to blasted to bits by the winter bombs that normally hit in late january Chi-town. so it did… it started on my way to HI TEA, located at 14east 11th street in the heart of the Columbia College campus, winds up the gazzigy, getting colder by the second… i was late, a little, but not worried since i expected this to be a simple "play for whoever is there" gig.

turns out, to my total suprise that there are a few people there based solely on their digging The Johns EP, which was being sold, or given away with Latte purchases (or something like that) by the establishment.

the place colorful, totally non-chain looking (as oppose to my first few solo jaunts in Caribou Coffee…. brutal). Mike and brian from the team are there, and a handfull of other patrons. The folks who came by interest via the EP are sitting 3 feet from where i’m gonna play. So i say hey to them and set up.

avoiding equipment choices i made for my last solo set, the night was on the right foot from the get go… that and i decided to practice.

i played (this is not in order or even a complete list)

johns: bear hugs, sideways, comfortable, worn, green collar, starstruck

cover: never tear us apart(inxs), pink moon(nick drake), serve you (chris whitley)

solo (or not yet played with the johns): Burn on me, Copper penny anthem, the price we all pay

the gig was sweet. it was chill and totally pressure-free. unknown tunes seemed to be welcomed and i got a few requests. I felt great about my performance despite my cold/sore throat bull-honkey.

funny thing happened on the last song, starstuck… i started in on the song and i start to notice that there is a chick talking…. i can’t see her cause there’s a short wall to my left on the other side of which she is sitting… like i said… talking… talking in a yelling sort of way. he voice gets louder when the song gets louder and softer when the song gets softer… so i come to the middle section where it gets real soft…. and i stop playing.

The folks left in the place who we watching start listening to the chick (is that offensive?) talking.. about Paris Hilton as far as i can tell. So i wait, and wait and she keeps talking… so i play a few bars, hold the chord, she’s still talking, i play another bar and i hear her get louder to talk over me, i stop, she quiets her voice a bit, i start again, she gets loud, finally, at the chord right before the end chorus i stop again completely and there’s is an emphatic "oh my god i love her!" (or something to that effect) and at the chuckles of the music watchers i hammer into the last chorus and drown her out.

i’m pretty sure the girl was not aware that i was aware of her… how could she be with a mouth like that? nevertheless… the comedy of that person was not lost… it was eaten up and enjoyed by most everyone in the place.

sweet. i’m going back there. to eat and to play again… the food is awesome, the owners are great.astmosphere is perfect for a gig like that.

total A plus on the night. my managers were happy too, can’t be it with a stick. the storm was in full form on the way home. my guit and amp were pushed up in the air as if taking me into flight…